THE BLACK CHARIOT AWAITS

Word is spreading that we are packing up for another Craft Fair, so my work begins now! As the official Head of Marketing for Jon and Mary’s Curios, I take my duties very seriously.

Naturally, the journey to the fair provides an hour of pure, unadulterated luxury. I travel in the front seat of the Shiny Black Beemer, perched precisely upon the lap of The Goddess. Consequently, as it should be, Not My Real Dad serves as the chauffeur. He handles the driving while I manage the morale—this is correct and proper.

Upon arrival at the fair, I start my real work. Instead of just sitting there, I use my state-of-the-art, weaponized cuteness to lure humans into our stall. It is a calculated strategy: they see my wagging tail and handsome face, and then, they immediately trade their colorful paper-squares for the delightful robots and shiny-silver jewelry that Jon and Mary create. Indeed, the system works perfectly.

BUT A WARNING TO ALL MARAUDERS:

The world overflows with other dogs who keep trying to enter our sacred stall space. EXCUSE ME, NO. This is my jurisdiction! Therefore, if any wandering dog—a Marauder—even steps a single paw inside our boundary, I intervene immediately. I let out a massive, booming BORK to protect The Goddess and our precious inventory from these invaders. They need to understand that I rule here and that respect is mandatory!

It is a tough job, but nevertheless, someone must maintain order amidst the market chaos. Ultimately, my work ensures that the business runs smoothly, the humans stay charmed, and the territory remains secure. Until next time, keep your noses wet, stay sharp, and above all, never—under any circumstances—trust the step-parent.

Kthxbai,
Errol, Head of Marketing