BY ERROL (HEAD OF MARKETING)

🐾 HIGH-SPEED ROAD REPORT: On Monday, the corporate caravan headed back to the Tywyn Market. Because it’s a nice, short drive up the coast road through Aberdovey, the ambiance in the vehicle was peak cinema. As we flew along the estuary, winding right along the very edge of the water, I could almost hear the smooth brass of Andy Williams playing ‘Music to Watch Girls By,’ followed by the breezy coolness of Brigitte Bardot’s ‘St. Tropez,’ and finishing off with the B-52’s classic ‘Love Shack’ echoing in my floppy ears!

Not-my-real-dad was having an absolute whale of a time. We managed to latch onto the wake of an ambulance, sweeping along the highway and making excellent tactical time!

Thanks to that high-speed convoy, we arrived early 🙂 and scored the ultimate corporate location: right next to the lovely doggy toy stall! Sometimes, being the Head of Marketing has its distinct, high-end perks. It was a much cooler day than last week’s scorching beach diversion, which was a very good thing indeed, let me tell you!

The Medical Evaluation (And A Cover-Up)

I took a few brief walkies around the market, but to be transparent with my shareholders, that back leg is still bothering me. Fortunately, I am a pretty brave doggie (as well as exceptionally feers), so the upcoming trip to the vet holds zero terror for me. I think we are heading that way, folks. I know us small doggies can have structural problems with our joints.

Some might suggest—via a rude —that it’s because I am carrying a few extra kilograms.

PREPOSTEROUS! I swear on my biscuits it is simply the heavy shrapnel I picked up on the Somme! It has absolutely nothing at all to do with the bikkies, or the extra duck onna sticks. And as for me having a small bowl of cereal (just milk, no sugar!) for the odd midnight supper… that is purely a bonding exercise to share with my hoomans! It does my heart good to see their little faces light up as the three of us tuck into some of Dr. Kellogg’s finest.

So while the vet is no source of feer… the mention of a diet… now thas anuther thing altogether!

DIET??? NOES!!!11!!1!!1!! 😱

Closing the Deal & The Wardrobe Malfunction

Anyway, back to business. It was another fantastic trading day. The aisles were packed with lots of lovely dogs and their hoomans walking around. By mid-afternoon, many of those hoomans were walking considerably slower—mostly because they were weighed down with all the heavy new jools and robots they decided to buy after hearing my magnetic marketing patter…

Heh hehe heheheheh hehehe. Classic Errol closing techniques.

Since the revenue numbers were up, I decided I needed an executive treat. For a change, I chose a treat you can’t actually eat… well, you could, but only if you were a very BAD DOG!!! I got myself a magnificent new lead setup: a lovely pale green harness covered in little pictures of doggies.

It fits like a dream, but we have hit a major corporate styling emergency… there is no place to attach my signature bow tie. 👔🚫 This is a severe blow to the brand identity and will need to be addressed by the design department ASAP and stat!

As always with the Tywyn deployment, we enjoyed an early finish and a smooth drive home. I am currently back at HQ, keeping a safe distance from Alice (the f-ing tiger), enjoying a tactical duck onna stick (it’s good for mah teeff, onest!), and heading straight to bed.

KthxBai – Errol