THE BLACK CHARIOT AWAITS Word is spreading that we are packing up for another Craft Fair, so my work begins now! As the official Head of Marketing for Jon and Mary’s Curios, I take my duties very seriously. Naturally, the journey to the fair provides an hour of pure, unadulterated luxury. I travel in the…

Despite the ever-present threat of the Tiger—also known as Alice—The 5 PM Ritual guarantees my survival. Every single day, precisely when the sun hits the sofa corner, the feline overlords receive their tribute. I watch from a safe distance, maintaining my professional composure, while the cats feast and the house remains stable. But what reward…

THE TIGER STRIKES In terrifying social news, I had a close encounter today with the resident menace, Alice. Readers, let me be clear: she is not a cat. She is a F-ING TIGER!1! Alice serves as the self-appointed Grand Matriarch of the house, and I am currently very legally forbidden from even looking in her…

A crisis occurred in the creation chamber today. The Goddess (long may she rain down cheese crumbs) was elegantly supervising the workshop, ensuring that the silver and wood took their proper forms. Meanwhile, The F-ing Idiot—also known as Not My Real Dad!—was trying to use the Loud-Growler machine. Too loud, man! As the Head of…

By Goodboy Bindle Featherstone of Quirm (Head of Marketing & Snack Connoisseur) Hello! Hello fans and followers. It is I, Errol—officially known as Goodboy Bindle Featherstone of Quirm—reporting live from the carpet. Heavy is the head that wears the collar, especially when you are single-handedly running the PR department of this entire operation. Being Head…