BY ERROL (HEAD OF MARKETING)

STOP THE PRESSES! 🐾 As part of our ongoing corporate strategy to conquer new territories, we branched out to a brand-new market yesterday over in Tywyn!

First impressions? Very promising indeed. It was a fantastic setting with a truly great bunch of fellow traders and excellent stalls. The only slight logistical snag was that the weather was absolutely, blindingly boiling. Instead of browsing our magnificent handcrafted wares, the hoomans all suffered a collective bout of madness and diverted themselves directly to the beach!

Because everyone was busy swimming and eating ice cream, it turned out to be a bit of a quiet day on the sales front. However, the Board of Directors at Jon & Mary’s Curios held an emergency AGM over our packed lunches. After a thorough executive review, we have decided to stick it out and continue trading at Tywyn for a month to see what happens. A true marketeer doesn’t back down at the first hurdle!

Speaking of hurdles… not-my-real-dad was up to his usual bizarre antics. The f-ing eejit spent the morning completely smeared in some weird, smelly, greasy stuff. Apparently, it is called “sunscreen,” but it smelled highly suspicious to me. So, no change there then! 🙂

To keep the corporate brand visible, I went on a few investigative walks around the venue and met some absolutely lovely peoples. But the heat was simply too much for a hardworking goggie. In between my walkies, I spent most of the afternoon sleeping soundly under the display tables. It was the absolute best way to escape the blazing sun.

While snoozing under the tablecloths, I had the most glorious dream. Well, a memory, really. My mind drifted back to last Easter, when I was living the high life and skiing the pristine slopes in Gstaad… Oh, the cool alpine breeze! The crisp, freezing snow under my paws! A far cry from being trapped under a gazebo in mid Wales, let me tell you.

The silver lining was that we packed up and headed home early, which was very nice indeed. As the evening drew in, the heat just continued to build. While cooling my belly on the floorboards, I overhead the Goddess Mummy and the eejit discussing the week ahead.

The executive decision? They are staying firmly at home in our nice, cool, 18th-century chapel! No arguments from me there.

Time to find a cold spot on the tiles and dream of Switzerland.

KthxBai – Errol